dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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