Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
