Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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