i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize