I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
