then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
