I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
