does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
