dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
