I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize