I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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