Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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