i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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