Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
