The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
