The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm both gender and math confused
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
