Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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