I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
