big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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