WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
