RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
