marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
