Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
