There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize