dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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