Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
