is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
there is puke in my bra ... again
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
