Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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