it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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