Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
