sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
