I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
