are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
