I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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