everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
