We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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