Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
