remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
