my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
