this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize