i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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