I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
