Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
