I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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