I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
