Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize