He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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