he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
