Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
