these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
