I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
