so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize