I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
