yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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