We won't sleep together?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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