no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
