you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
