It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she looked like the before picture.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
