I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Boobs are out for the taking
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
