Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
