He uses pillows to masturbate.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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