ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
