Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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