So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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