Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
