So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
