Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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