I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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