I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
