I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
