Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
