You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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