Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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