Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
