he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
