apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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