Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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