for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
God, I missed his penis.
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